NOTEBOOK
by Mark Powell

DISAPPOINTMENT


The British author, Thomas Hardy, once said: “The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes.” Or, as I would put it: To be disappointed is to feel the brunt of being human, for we know that as long as life is in us so is disappointment.

This is abundantly clear, and needs no offerings of proof, but we are still somehow surprised when disappointment presents its sting to our soul. We wonder, “How this could happen to us, after all, we’re the exception that proves the rule, aren’t we?” And we think: “Misfortune falls on others, but surely we’ll be the ones who get away?” But then, down deep, we know this is not really possible, at least we know it in mind if not in heart.

And when you begin to think this through it is amazing just how much there is to disappoint us. Dreams die and so does the body. Circumstances rarely measure expectations, and don’t even get me started on people. People will disappoint us at almost at every turn. People let us down, walk away, say one thing and do another, and when it all said and done, they even die!

I suppose the people who disappoint us the most are those in whom we invest the most time, for there our expectations often grow deep and wide. As a pastor for thirty years I have, sadly, felt both the sting of disappointment and I have been a disappointment to others.

Besides the angst and the sorrow found in disappointment, what is also important to remember is that these experiences can weigh so heavy on us that we finally decide never to open ourselves to the world again. “That’ll never happen to me again,” we claim, a statement when said in any form betrays the deepest cost of disappointment: a bitter spirit.

How well I can remember my bitterness when our son died as a full-term still-birth. So bitter was my disappointment that I determined this would never happen to us again. So, Charlotte and I have no other children. Too late I learned that the cost bitterness can be extremely steep.

So how should we deal with disappointment in healthy ways?

Maya Frost offers this four insights that may prove helpful:
1. Scan Your Body: How has the disappointment touched you physically?
2. Scan Your Mind: How has the disappointment touched you mentally?
3. Separate: Whenever we are disappointed our past hurt tend to surface as well.
4. Float: Dwell on the forward possibilities of the world around you.

I would come at this from a different direction and offer this idea: PRAYER. Prayer in the midst of disappointment may be the most difficult activity we can accomplish, and the most important. The very act of prayer is the movement of faith that can bring healing and hope. Prayer will engage the mind to the possibilities of life beyond the disappointment, and will offer faith to God, who is Himself the Spirit of Hope, and is the one who can bring the healing of “trying again” to our lives.